Seikan's Movie Simulation Game (Showing 1 - 25 of 454 comments)

Press Conference with Gaijindesu

Reporter:
I’m here with the world renowned director known as Gaijindesu, who has recently made a killing at the box office with his film “Magi”.

*turns towards Gaijindesu*

So, how do you feel about that?

Gaijindesu:
*chuckles* Well, I was a little nervous when I was writing this film, because I have been thinking about the concept for about 4 or 5 years and was never able to map it out. It once again surprises me that people enjoy watching my films so much, because some of them aren’t very mainstream. I have yet to write a movie about a world war or a sexist comedy, so I’m actually surprised that I have the money to make some of my bigger projects. Magi was one of them.

Reporter:
I managed to obtain some of the very early drafts and found it comparable to an X-Men clone with elves. Care to explain that?

Gaijindesu:
Well, it was originally entitled “The Chronicles of the Dark Mages” and I liked the idea of having a whole other race of people pushed underground and oppressed. A massive genocide. They would each have “Family Traits” which I liked the concept of, but I found it to be, like you said, a little too much like X-men. I am very pleased with the end result and wouldn't dare make that old script.

Reporter:
And you should be! All of the actors were fantastic in this movie, and all of your movies to be exact. Why do you think that is?

Gaijindesu:
Well I would love to say it was entirely because of my writing, but unfortunately, I can’t. The better actors actually say things like “Can we change this to: BlahBlahBlah”, which makes me happy, I don’t always change it though, there are reasons some of the lines are written in that way. I find if the actors have some kind of input, they give better performances. They feel more attached to the film.

Reporter:
This new movie is so different from all your other ones, was that a little scary for you?

Gaijindesu:
What was scary for me was “Silhouettes”.

Reporter:
*Laughs*

Gaijindesu:
But in all seriousness, all of my movies have been pretty different from each other. I know that that can be a little disorienting to my fans, but I make whatever I feel like making, and so far, that has worked out well.

Reporter:
And you’ve recently released an anime film by the name of “Mizutamari”, or “Aiko” here in the west. How was that?

Gaijindesu:
It was a lot of work. I had to jump around from art department to Seiyuu to the English voice acting (which took a long plane ride) and then back to the art department. Not to mention I had to write the whole thing.

Reporter:
Sounds hectic. How did you manage the whole thing?

Gaijindesu:
Well, I wrote a lot of the script on the airplanes I was taking, and I didn’t have to draw any of the frames, luckily, because I can’t draw. I just had to explain to the art department what I wanted, and every once in awhile I would stop in to approve things, ask them to change things et cetera. It was actually a lot of fun.

Reporter:
Why have you chosen to work with Studio Ghibli?

Gaijindesu:
I’ve always loved their work, and thought it was beautiful and well done. When I decided to make an anime film, they were the first people I contacted. Luckily they accepted, because I don’t know what I would have done if they didn’t.

Reporter:
Well for one there probably wouldn’t be much of a movie.

Gaijindesu:
Not exactly, I was thinking about asking other companies, but I really wanted Ghibli. They’re the best.

Reporter:
The film has a Japanese version and an English version. Was it difficult writing the film for two audiences?

Gaijindesu:
A little, I mean there were some moments where I was trying to adapt the Japanese version into English and vice versa. The hardest part was the humour. We actually had to make two different versions of some of the scenes because people wouldn’t get some of the references.

Reporter:
And how do you feel the film will do at the box office?

Gaijindesu:
To be honest I’m not sure. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Reporter:
Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you for letting us talk to you. We know you’re very busy.

Gaijindesu:
Don’t mention it.

Press Conference with IrnBru

Reporter- After your last film '20th Century Fox' bombed at the box office how do you feel?

IrnBru- I feel fine, I mean ofcourse I wasn't too extactic about it but even if those people who did go to see it left the cinema thinking 'Oh, that'd be so cool if that actually happened' then I feel I have achieved my goal.

Reporter- We've seen two of your Star Wars films when are we to expect the third?

IrnBru- Ah well, I'm kewping that one under tight wraps at the moment.

Reporter- Although both of the Star Wars films realesed last season made it big at the box office the critics didn't seem to think of it too highly. Why do you think this was?

IrnBru- Well I think it is simply because they don't think another film is needed. The George Lucas film were fantastic and all came to gether to create a story running though all six. Mine on the other hand are a totally new story and I think people would rather be left in the dark with there on thoughts on what happens next. But this doesn't stop them flocking to the cinemas.

Reporter- So your latest film Psi-Ops has just been realesed what do you think the outcome will be?

IrnBru- Well this is a game adaptation and alot of people don't seem to think games make very good films, but with games these days they do have all the plot points, twists etc. its just so easy to convert them over, and i think that this really is a fantastic story.

Reporter:
The critics have slated your latest musical as a dissapointment, and overly insiduous. How do you feel about that?

MohadGlub:
urrm. Well it saddens me because I loved making this film and I had a lot of fun doing it. I knew from the start that it would be dark and quite depressing and im sorry if people dont like that about the film. References to 'fight club' I think are a little bit fraught to be honest, especially as I have never seen all of fight club and did not like what I saw.

Reporter:
The scripting and the plot was a little bit crazy, and sometimes difficult to follow, do you think that affected the critics' descisions?

MohadGlub:
Maybe. It was always meant to be sureal/abstract and thats what I liked about it. We get to see the characters in a different way, something a bit more contemporary, more interesting in my opinion.

Reporter:
Nevertheless, the film was a financial success, you must be pleased.

MohadGlub:
No. My work has always been about the quality of the film, originality and about affecting the audience and working the emotions. To hear criticsm is very saddening and depressing.

Reporter:
You speak of quality and originality. Did you consider this with Envy?

MohadGlub:
Envy was the biggest mistake of my career. It was when i had worked the idea of 'the War Poets' and knew i needed a more confident source of funds in order to make it. It was a cruel trick upon my fans, and a route of film making that i had vowed not

to resort to. I see it as a business venture for 'the war poets' rather than a piece of art.

Reporter:
So you are saying that Envy was a deliberate ploy for cash.

MohadGlub:
Not quite. The ingredients for the film, the founding bones of its structure; i.e big names, the love story, the love triangle; were designed to be a film that would hopefully be a financial success. Every step since then was done to try and make the film into something unique and touching. I am not proud of that film though i saw it as a necessary step to ensuring I could make 'War Poets' the way I wanted it to be.

Reporter:
Are you going to continue with musicals or move into something else? Has this critism affected the way you plan to work?

MohadGlub:
Of course not. I'm not going to remain true to what I see as an intresting direction in film making and hope that others enjoy it. I am planning another musical though i'm not sure if i want to make it for the silver screen. If I sell it to theatre then I will move on to something a little bit more contemporary. I can't say anything more than that.

Reporter:
How have these reviews affected Mr. Oko, the composer which you found and have shown such faith in.

MohadGlub:
he has benefited extremely well from this, more so than me *laughter* I hope he will continue his fine work and be respected and honored in all he does.

Reporter:
Thank-you very much for this interview, and goo luck in the future.

MohadGlub:
Thank-you

(OOC: Nicely done, Gaijindesu.)

((INTERVIEW WITH WORLD-RENOWNED CRITIC, FILMMAKER, AND CO-OWNER OF SEIKAN-MASTER FILMS: SEIKAN))

Reporter- "Hello, Seikan."

Seikan- "G'day."

Reporter- "Now, we've seen your words comes across, often like a sharpened sword. You've beaten Ebert in terms of reviewer's fame. You won the pulitzer prize, most notably for crushing The Life Of David Gale and Napolean Dynamite, not to mention for your details of The War Poets and Apartheid. In terms of how you criticize other films, do you often think you could do a better film than those you have criticized?"

Seikan- "God is the one for that question. I criticize, but I don't compare to my own work."

Reporter- "Your most famous film was the acclaimed indie masterpiece The Yellow Tree, which treaded middle-aged relationships, dementia-induced obsession, and a key to ones life that is artificial at worst, a wonder to look at at best. For this you took a string of Oscars the year before the big names like Riddlemaster came in."

Seikan- "And Drewbacca, and canadiens87, and many others who gained fame but have moved on in life."

Reporter- "Your films are quite the variety. The Yellow Tree; SuperWhore; One Fine Eve. Each film wildly different."

Seikan- "One's a poignant drama; one's a slapstick comedy; one's a family satire."

Reporter- "Well put. How do you get these ideas?"

Seikan- "You asked Gaijindesu that. I'd like to concur."

Reporter- "Do you expect any more Oscar fame?"

Seikan- "No. I'm awaiting Riddlemaster's return from his long hiatus, and I'm to produce his comeback film. I'd like to sign Gaijindesu to my 'minions' as it were, but he's very into unconventional films. Like me. But the difference being that he's obliged to keep away from corporate control if he values his creative insight. I applaud him for avoiding my company." *laughs*

Reporter- "What is Riddlemaster doing?"

Seikan- "Searching for himself. He holds two Best Picture Oscars for The Long Run and Barcelona Night, but feels cheated out of the Best Director Oscar for the latter. He takes the recognition seriously despite what I tell him."

Reporter- "What do you tell him?"

Seikan- "Oscars are ones way of honoring films. OUR way of honoring. And to honor, you must shut others out. This can cause controversy, mistakes, and a brooding sense of one being cheated out of what one is deserved. Ralph Fiennes didn't get the Best Supporting Actor Oscar he deserved in '93, but he got it for The Yellow Tree and then The Long Run thereafter. He's got four or five Oscars to his name, and that's because of his lifetime work. Most get awards for their life's work, which is always in good taste, but sometimes not an honoring for the performance they're nominated for. Clive Owen, Ellen Burstyn, and yes, Ralph Fiennes have all been cheated out of Oscars they deserved by brilliant actors and actresses who won for their career's work, rather than their single performance. That sums up the politics of the Oscars."

Reporter- "You seem passionate about the subject of awards season."

Seikan- "It's the most exciting time."

Reporter- "Moving away. There were rumours you were in production to make a film budgeted at an enormous half-billion dollars. MohadGlub, the honored director, quoted that 500 million was a 'ridiculous amount to spend on a film', can you admit this?"

Seikan- "Not to get what I want. For me, CGI, special effects, all that stuff is a load of shit. You can say to me that Peter Jackson's King Kong had brilliant visual effects. Whatever. Did those cars in New York look and drive exactly like a car should've? Fuck no. The animation and intimacy between the actors and the animation was horrible. Animation is ruining the movie industry because everyone's looking for a way to spare some money on some big explosion scene. You do the real thing, you do real explosions, you film at sea, you make a huge wave, you cause a sandstorm, you make rain, you make hail... by God, to make something real to the audience, you have to MAKE it REAL! The reactions are better, the scene looks more spectacular, etc. etc. By God, if you were to animate the grand action scenes of David Lean's masterpiece Lawrence Of Arabia, then you are to tear the very heart and soul from its body. Visual Effects do not look, feel, or sound real, and everyone knows it. Half a billion dollars is what I need to make a HUGE film and make everything real. I'm not using a shred of an animated effects."

Reporter- "Not a shred?"

Seikan- "Not a single damn frame."

Reporter- "You're very passionate on these subjects."

Seikan- "I'm a passionate person."

Reporter- "So it would seem. Well, Seikan, it was nice talking to you. It blew me away, and from the sounds of it, your next film will blow everyone away."

Seikan- "Wait... next film? No. MohadGlub demanded that I show my worth by making more films first. So I'm going to strip my budget to a million and build up a half billion."

Reporter- "You two are rivals?"

Seikan- "Friends yes. Rivals definitely. Two Best Director Oscars. Two Best Picture Oscars. His second film is critically regarded as the greatest film ever made, and I agree. I was the first to declare its greatness. I have only have his achievements to my name. I promise to show him true passion."

Reporter- "I hope all goes well for you. Thanks for your time."

Seikan- "Thanks for listening."

Reporter:
some strong words from Seikan MohadGlub, do you see him as a threat to yourself?

MohadGlub:
No I see him as a god, and gods must be feared yes, but respected and loved as a maker and creationist. He's gonna make the best movie ever, I have total faith in that, who am I to deny him that?

Reporter:
eerrm... You've been reported to have had fierce words with Seikan over the creation of the ultimate movie, saying that it was unfair to blow all other film makers out of the water when he hasnt played the game from the bottom? You have seemingly contradicted that.

MohadGlub:
I most certainly have not you pompous moron. I said he has every right to make the best film ever, and that i have total faith in his abilities as a movie maker. However, it is only fair that he builds himself up from the bottom like the rest of us before he truly obliterates us. I respect his plans to do so.

Reporter:
Are you ok? you seem to be slurring and swaying slightly.

MohadGlub:
I'm fine thank-you

Reporter:
What do you expect from this half a billion dollar titan of film?

MohadGlub:
Its going to be a rollercoaster ride of genuine orgasmic entertainment. He said 'blow us away' I dont doubt that. With any luck for himself and misfortunate for Myself, 'the War Poets' will look like a Batman and Robin remake compared to it.

Reporter:
Are you drunk?

MohadGlub:
Kinda

Reporter:
ok, moving on. Seikan speaks very highly of you, how do you feel about that?

MohadGlub:
I am naturally honoured. I can't wait for Seikan to show me his true passion. The very thought of it makes me tingle.

Reporter:
Riiiight. Is there anything else you'd like to say?

MohadGlub:
Yes. *turns to face the camera* To everyone watching and reading: Be warned. The time will come when gods and daemons walk this earth making movies of splendour and magnificentality. The next few years will see you swept away from shit like icebagger and jackmehoff and taken to a wonderous world of Seikan, Gaijindesu, Riddlemaster and myself. No powers of lust nor greed will stop this. Nothing can stand in our way.

Interview With IrnBru after the release of Psi-Ops
Reporter- Hello IrnBru its nice to speak with you again so soon.

IrnBru-It’s a delight to be back.

Reporter- So how do feel Psi-Ops done in the box office?

IrnBru- Well it didn’t seem to go down as well as I had hoped to be honest. Although it is a video game adaptation I really didn’t want audiences to think of it that way as it really wasn’t a popular game.

Reporter- How did you first come up with the idea of Psi-Ops?

IrnBru- Well about a year ago I bought the game in a sale for ten quid. After playing the game for a while I thought to myself this would make a really good film. The after ‘20th Century Fox’ was released I really wanted to try dabbling with a sci-fi film since I hadn’t done so before other than Star Wars which I would have to thank George Lucas for and it is my favourite genre. But as it was going to my first film I didn’t want it to be too much sci-fi, so I was looking though my Dvd collection for some inspiration when I spotted Psi-Ops gaming sitting, then it stuck me to try and make this into a film.

Reporter- Video game adaptations have never done so well in the past but that’s never stopped you from continuing to make these adaptations, as you already have Gun and Metal Gear Solid under your belt how did you feel going into this project?

IrnBru- Well as I have said before its not a very well known game and therefore I had hoped that it wouldn’t be seen as a video game adaptation but rather a new, fresh action sci-fi.

Reporter- What made you cast the actors that you did?

Irnbru- Well I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what actors to use, the first actor that came to mind for the General was Ed Harris, we called him up to see if he was interested luckily he was very keen on the part. When it came to casting Sara Blake, we wanted someone who hadn’t been in the spotlight too much but had done an heroine type part before, my first thought was to go with Carrie-Ann Moss as we had worked together on MGS, but she was a little old for the part, so I then thought ‘What about the women from MI:3, a quick check on imdb and we had Maggie Quigley. For the role of Nick Scryer we had actually almost cast Russell Crowe. We had an open casting call for this part and Russell had shown up in amongst all these unknown actors surprisingly and we really liked him for the part but when we screen tested him along with Maggie the chemistry just wasn’t there. We then tried to think of an action star that could pull off a darker hero. Statham was the result, and he really was in my opinion great in the part.

Reporter- As this is your first attempt at a sci-fi flick other than Star Wars and it didn’t do great at the box office does it put you off trying it again?

IrnBru- Not at all infact I am working on a pretty big project with a good pal of mine Waynemanor. We will soon be banding together to create a great science fiction superhero film. I’m not too sure if I can tell you too much more about it as it has been kept under tight wraps for sometime now.

Reporter- Go on you can give us a title or even the main characters name.

IrnBru- Well we haven’t discussed the title as yet but the Superheroes name is….Reptile.

Reporter- Any Special powers?

IrnBru- No, sorry I can’t disclose that at this time.

Reporter- Ok then I won’t press the matter. Can we expect the final instalment of Star Wars anytime soon?

IrnBru- Yes, we are working away at it and it should be ready any day now.

Reporter- Can’t wait to see it then, And I hope to see you back here soon.

IrnBru- I hope you’ll have me Back.

Press Conference with Gaijindesu {Translation}

Reporter:
Kazuki Takashima here, with world famous filmmaker whose alias is "The Foreigner". He has recently allowed NHK to interview him regarding his movies. This is exclusive coverage you can't get anywhere else.

*Kazuki Takashima turns towards Gaijindesu*

So, How are you doing?

Gaijindesu:
I'm fine, I mean, I'm a little Jet Lagged from the flight here, but it's worse going back, so I should be fine. I'm just hoping that I won't say anything a little too provocative or colourful.

Takashima-San:
This is Japanese TV, I don't think you have to worry too much.

Gaijindesu:
*Laughs* That's right I suppose, but I don't want to tell the Japanese audience anything that my other audiences don't want to hear. I think we should just be fair to all of the audiences.

Takashima-San:
*attempting to be sincere*
Of course, we expect nothing less from you! It is certainly an honour to have you tonight.

Gaijindesu:
Well, thank you very much. I've never actually been interviewed by NHK before, so it's very exciting and new for me.

Takashima-San:
I saw your new movie, Mizutamari, yesterday and fell in love with it instantly. There is a huge and breathtaking following for this film, why do you think that is?

Gaijindesu:
Well, I think it's mainly because of the amount of effort that was put into it by the Japanese cast. I chose the Seiyuu for the film very carefully, I wanted to make sure I had the right ones.

Takashima-San:
And you decided to work with Studio Ghibli. Have you always liked their work?

Gaijindesu:
I know this is going to sound a little blasphemous to Ghibli fans, but I've liked all of their work except for one film they made: NausicaA.

Takashima-San:
But that is widely considered to be their best film!!

Gaijindesu:
I know, I don't like the world it's set in. It's breathtaking and magical and brilliant, but I just never liked it.

Takashima-San:
That's unfortunate.

Gaijindesu:
It really is...

Takashima-San:
Did you have a hard time writing the Japanese version of Mizutamari?

Gaijindesu:
Not really, if there was any other problem with the wording I wanted I just asked one of the artists or actors for the saying I wanted. It was a good excuse to practice my Japanese.

Takashima-san:
Well, it seems fine right now!

Gaijindesu:
Don't flatter me, it's horrible, my accent won't go away *cringes*.

Takashima-San:
And what about it's success here, what do you contribute that to?

Gaijindesu:
The fact that it's Ghibli who helped me work on it *laughs*. The fact that the film is in Japanese but not written by a japanese person helps too.

Takashima-San:
And you signed Hikki to do a song for this too. What is that about?

Gaijindesu:
I've always liked her work, her english stuff isn't always as good, but I made sure that she had some more help writing the english version of "Kami". She's very talented.

...

Takashima-San:
and there was no other reason? *winks*

Gaijindesu:
No. She's a very nice woman, but she's also happily married. I like her work.

Takashima-San:
And so your next project will be cal...

End of translation... Apparently someone forgot to pay the translators again, your loss. Find a fan-sub somewhere or something. This wasn't addressed to the english public anyway. Stop bitching. (are we allowed to say bitching? oh we can? alright) stop bitching. For Chri- (oh we're not allowed to say that though?) For the sake of all humanity stop reading this, or PAY US!!!

You know, which ever you'd prefer. Or something. You may see the ending some day if you do...

Repoter- Jackmehoff has announced his return

Jackmehoff- "I have decided to return and have made a movie about the roswell incident. i felt that it would be a nice way to come back and i hope the critics like it. my goal for this season is to win an academy award. It has been a dream of mine and i hope it to come true. I know that my fellow movie directors will stand beside me as i do so for them. Enjoy the movie all.

*NEWSFLASH*

Following the release of his successful film several award seasons ago, the reclusive director Shortcartoonist has become public once more and released some facts about his future in Movie Simulation. Shortcartoonist made a brief appearance at a press conference earlier today:

Reporter: "Shortcartoonist, your film release was a huge success and was enjoyed by both critics and reviewers alike. Yet since then you have become a distant figure. Why is that?"

Shortcartoonist: "Well, I've been very busy lately with work outside of the film industry and just simply have not had the time to further pursue my film career."

Reporter: "Many said you simply ran out of ideas and could not face to match your first film. How do you respond to this?"

Shortcartoonist: "I think it's absurd. I have plenty of ideas up my sleeve for production but felt that time was needed to get them underway -"

Reporter: "- Would you like to shed some light on your future?"

Shortcartoonist: "It's busy times for me right now, and for good reasons. I am close to releasing the anticipated Special Edition DVD for Prison Paradox which will hit shelves next month. I am also about to release my second film and am currently writing more scripts for films further down the road."

Reporters scramble for more information but Shortcartoonist waves his hand and smiles as he walks out of the room.

The cover art for the Prison Paradox Special Edition has been officially released to the public.



(I saw Mohad get into making posters and thought I should give a quick sketch a go. :p)

PRESS CONFERENCE FOLLOWING THE RELEASE OF 'THE APPEASEMENT'- THE LATEST FILM BY MOAHD GLUB.Reporter:
Hello and Welcome Mr. Glub, Its an honor to meet you.

MohadGlub:
Thanks

Reporter:
I'll cut the crap. Your latest film wavers between quite scary and quite confusing, Was that deliberate?

MohadGlub:
*laughs* Well, it was definately meant to have scenes of suspense and yes, a little bit frightening, and where it gets confusing is designed to provoke the audience rather than confuse them. I wanted to experiment with a more contemporary style of filming than I have done before.

Reporter:
Yes that is evident. In the blurb you wrote that the ghost of the dead daughter comes back to the past to give the family what they wanted. Can you explain how they get this.

MohadGlub:
The point is they get what they wanted, but its not what they expected. Its trying to show that what you always wanted isnt what you need/what's best for you. We see in the beginning the mother who is single and wanting more adult company, wanting a lover. We see the two brothers quarreling, the younger (played by Harry Eden) wanting to be the eldest, wanting attention and wishing his brother away. The older brother is fed up of the family life and wants to get away from it completely; we hear his dreams of going to london, starting afresh, wanting to escape. The daughter has always tried to, and always wanted to make the family work

(continued...)

She's the one who tries to tie together the relationship between the two brothers, shes the one who tries to give her mother some peace. So when she dies, the essence of her which is left behind; tries to do the same. She leads her mother to find the man of her dreams, she takes the elder brother away (by killing him) which leaves the younger brother to live the life he's always wanted, without his brother shadowing him, and in doing so gives the elder brother the escape he's always wanted. However, we see that getting what you want isnt always the right thing to have. We see the mother abandon her family, and the brother and daughter get killed.

Reporter:
So it's a 'careful what you wish for' story?

MohadGLub:
No, and I dont think that you've understood the purpose of this film. We see the basic desires of the characters become their un-doing in a sureal and contemporary way. All the selfish thoughts they had and never expressed fully become their undoing when they are forced out. It shows how as humans why we fight against those basic desires for moral up-holding. Its an intellectual provocation.

Reporter:
Riiight. Anyway, Good luck.

MohadGlub:
Yeah thanks.

PRESS CONFERENCE WITH MOHADGLUB PENDING THE RELEASE OF 'MONET'Reporter:
Welcome Mr. Glub, it is truly an honor to have the opportunity to discuss your new film.

MohadGlub:
Thank-you very much.

Reporter:
Why did you decide to focus on Monet for this film? Was there anything leading up to it, any particular reason you decided upon him as inspiration and focus?

MohadGlub:
Well of course, I love Monet, he is my favourite artist and I've spent my childhood in awe of his paintings. I had paintings of his around my room and still do. I have always been fascinated by his style, and have always thought how fantastic it would be if the whole world was like that, if we could see things from his mind. The only other artist that has made me think like that is Henry Gaudier.

Reporter:
So that is why you had the effects, the visual style that this film achieves? to try and show how the world would look from his mind?

MohadGlub:
Well yes that is one reason, but also, I thought it was vitally important to capture the essence of Monet in the movie, and i didnt think that standard motion capture could do that in the vibrant, colourful manner which you would associate with Monet.

Reporter:
We see Monet's life in quite a dark and pityable way; the errr... the relationship with his father, the death of his mother, his sons death,... Did you feel it was a necessary way to portray the character?

MohadGlub:
Well yes, that was all a vital part of his life; it all shaped him as a character, as a person. The reason I made it appear quite so miserable is because it was, his childhood was not a happy state, and his paintings; his art, the… the.. the charcoal caricatures were all an escape for him. He was radically different for his time, he took a refreshing new stance in his art and it’s because of the things that happened to him, and shaped him as a boy. We see him at La Louvre, seeing all the artists trying to mimic other painters, to copy. He wanted to capture the world around him.

Reporter:
You are obviously very passionate about this man

MohadGlub:
Art is an expression of passion, and yes I am a passionate man

Reporter:
The scenes where the world drips away into paint, the scenes where we are looking through the mind of Monet as he goes through a creative inspiration… They’re stunning, were they difficult to create?

MohadGlub:
Yes, very much so, but I had the very best of help on that. We’ve made some groundbreaking leaps forward in that area of filmmaking.

Reporter:
Now I understand that some of the scenes had a Monet who was altered by computer graphics, I didn’t spot them, how many were actually altered?

MohadGlub:
Every shot of him. We created the face of Monet from a blend of different actors so that we can manipulate it and age it without having multiple actors, which would confuse the audience. Now, of course, when you go to a certain age you are going to be able to recognise one specific actor over another, but the face grows and ages the way it would if it were real. As the entire photography in the movie is artistically altered anyway, you can barely tell. Im pleased with the results, as I am sceptical to such ‘CGI Characters’, real life actors invariably being better. In this film I think of the character of Monet as a real character as it has been created out of several real life actors and simply digitally aided to make it age more coherently.

Reporter:
I think that’s all we have time for, thank you Mr. Glub

MohadGlub:
No, thank you.

INTERVIEW

Reporter:
You've had quite a severe slating in the press recently Mr. Glub. Many reviews have stated that 'the war poets' was a fluke, a lucky shot for you and that your latest film 'monet' simply attempted to recreate that or worse, better it.

MohadGlub:
Yeah that's been very distressing. Can I swear?

Reporter:
sure

MohadGlub:
These reviewers are vultures, bastards. They'll take what they like then get bored and slate you when you get a bit 'monotonous'. War Poets is the greatest film ive ever, and probably ever shall make, i know that. I also know that I worked hard to make it, and that ive spent my childhood obsessed with the era, with the poets. Its my lovechild, it is everything I wanted from film-making, and it is definately not a god-damn fluke. 'Monet' Wasnt trying to recreate it, it wasnt trying to better it; it was looking at another theme and plot that I like, that I love. I wanted to push the boat out on how the film looks, its a visual artistic statement.

Reporter:
The visuals are stunning, but do you perhaps feel that the story, the characters were forgotten?

MohadGlub:
They certainly werent forgotten. They just werent the focus of the film. The focus was the artistic glory of Monet, and thats what ive achieved. It was about expressing his art, his character and his mind on film. That's what I wanted to achieve, and that is what I feel I have achieved.

Reporter:
That's all folks.

MohadGlub:
Goodnight

Reporter: We're here with filmmaker and more notably reviewer Seikan, who was indirectly finger-pointed by disappointed director MohadGlub when Seikan declared the Monet was "a grand technical achievement that captures the art but misses the point". This was complimented by several reviews for the film averaged out to the 2-to-3-stars category. Seikan, how can you explain yourself?

Seikan: Look, I'll be frank. I enjoyed Monet, it was a wonderful insight, and I'm glad MohadGlub admitted that CERTAIN personal aspects were stepped aside for the focus itself, the art. The reason why MohadGlub won't be too honored for this recent achievement is in the very nature of it... his direction is, for a man at the top of the game like he is, somewhat of a disappointment. He holds two Best Picture and two Best Director Oscars in his hands among others. His two big films won a total of 23 Oscars, 15 for one. He is a bigger icon than Riddlemaster, the proclaimed greatest, could've ever hoped to be. But he must accept the disappointment we have for Monet. It will not be a contender for the Best Picture or Director Oscar. I have no doubt in my mind otherwise that it will sweep the technical honors, but is otherwise a joy to watch for its colours and vibrancy, as well as the art; but not the story. We lose interest, and everyone agrees with me on that. We also don't have a fair score to fall back on.

Reporter: What single film award WILL it be nominated for?

Seikan: No doubt the Foreign film honor. It's French, so he has that contender's chance, but Swift As Desire is the bookie's choice there, as it's also the bookie's choice for the upcoming Cannes Film Festival's Palme d'Or. Still, all these awards predictions are leaving me breathless. I just had to make sure I wasn't entirely loathed in Glub's eyes.

Reporter: Thank you.

Interview with IrnBru

Reporter- Hi, its good to be back with you after such a short time.

IrnBru- yes I’m glad you have me back after my recent set back.

Reporter- Well first I’d just like to talk about Star Wars if you don’t mind.

IrnBru- Not at all fire away.

Reporter- Although the first 2 chapters of this trilogy didn’t go down so well with fans and critics alike they did make a fair amount of money and after all this you continued on with the trilogy, was this done purely to make money and backfired?

IrnBru- Not at all, I just felt that even though the first 2 done extremely well at the box office that there were still some people out there who would want to see what happens next, I would hate to have deprived anyone of the final instalment. I actually expected a bit of a loss and therefore cut the budget back ever so slightly. But I am still proud to have this trilogy under my belt. It was something I’ve wanted to try for a while and after hearing the response to the first two I knew not to tamper with someone else’s films again. I learnt my lesson there but still had to go on and do the third. This is the main reason I had held back on releasing it, I wanted to try and get a few good films out which would hopefully lesson the blow of the final star wars. This also backfired, as it seemed to hit just as hard.

Reporter- So where did this Metal Gear film come from? The last time we spoke I was expecting a super-hero film.

IrnBru- well my partner on that film is taking some time out of it for the moment and after such a hard blow from Seiken, and i'm not complaining about it, I felt I had to try and get something really good out there immediately.

Reporter- So why Metal Gear?

IrnBru- well I have had the idea of doing the sequel to Metal gear for a while and wanted to make it from a different perspective from the game. The first one went down a treat with the fans but not so well with the critics, which actually sparked off a great war between the critics and myself, but after that had calmed down and I had made a film or 2 using an alias, which I don’t think anyone knows about yet. *winks*.

Reporter- Well I hope all goes well for you in the future and while i’m here I may as well ask what were the alias films you made?

IrnBru- Ah well that would be telling now wouldn’t it. I’ll leave it for the fans to work out.

Reporter- Oh well. Thanks and hope to see you soon.